quite possibly the funniest thing I've seen in a while...

I came across this hilarious post recently, and I just had to share. :) This is what happens when you ask favors of graphic designers... or what could happen. :)



From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.15am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Poster

Hi
I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon.



This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number.
Thanks Shan.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
That is shocking news. Luckily I was sitting down when I read your email and not half way up a ladder or tree. How are you holding up? I am surprised you managed to attend work at all what with thinking about Missy out there cold, frightened and alone... possibly lying on the side of the road, her back legs squashed by a vehicle, calling out "Shannon, where are you?" Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.
Regards, David.
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Poster

yeah ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I am really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
I never said I don't like cats. Once, having been invited to a party, I went clothes shopping beforehand and bought a pair of expensive G-Star boots. They were two sizes too small but I wanted them so badly I figured I could just wear them without socks and cut my toenails very short. As the party was only a few blocks from my place, I decided to walk. After the first block, I lost all feeling in my feet. Arriving at the party, I stumbled into a guy named Steven, spilling Malibu & coke onto his white Wham 'Choose Life' t-shirt, and he punched me. An hour or so after the incident, Steven sat down in a chair already occupied by a cat. The surprised cat clawed and snarled causing Steven to leap out of the chair, slip on a rug and strike his forehead onto the corner of a speaker; resulting in a two inch open gash. In its shock, the cat also defecated, leaving Steven with a wet brown stain down the back of his beige cargo pants. I liked that cat.
Attached poster as requested.
Regards, David.


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.24am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a movie and how come the photo of Missy is so small?

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
It's a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.
Regards, David.
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.33am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Thats just stupid. Can you do it properly please? I am extremely emotional over this and was up all night in tears. you seem to think it is funny. Can you make the photo bigger please and fix the text and do it in colour please. Thanks.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don't come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook and look out of the window. I am willing to overlook this faux pas due to you no doubt being preoccupied with thoughts of Missy attempting to make her way home across busy intersections or being trapped in a drain as it slowly fills with water. I spent three days down a well once but that was just for fun.
I have amended and attached the poster as per your instructions.
Regards, David.


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

This is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says missing missy off it? I just want it to say lost.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and the word lost and the telephone number and when and where she was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I would help you. Thanks.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.32am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Awww

Dear Shannon,
I don't have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend's cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter, I kept the cat in a closed cardboard box in the shed and forgot about it. If I wanted to feed something and clean faeces, I wouldn't have put my mother in that home after her stroke. A week later, when my friend came to collect his cat, I pretended that I was not home and mailed the box to him. Apparently I failed to put enough stamps on the package and he had to collect it from the post office and pay eighteen dollars. He still goes on about that sometimes, people need to learn to let go.
I have attached the amended version of your poster as per your detailed instructions.
Regards, David.



From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Awww

Thats not my cat. where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange. I gave you a photo of my cat.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.58am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Awww

I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one of several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this. If anybody calls and says "I haven't seen your orange cat but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?" you can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill.
I knew someone who had a basset hound that had its hind legs removed after an accident and it had to walk around with one of those little buggies with wheels. If it had been my dog I would have asked for all its legs to be removed and replaced with wheels and had a remote control installed. I could charge neighbourhood kids for rides and enter it in races. If I did the same with a horse I could drive it to work. I would call it Steven.
Regards, David. From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.07pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Please just use the photo I gave you.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

I didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. What did you even put that there for? Apart from that it is perfect can you please remove the reward bit. Thanks Shan.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.42pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.56pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww



From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Fine. That will have to do.

Beloved.

A dear friend shared this video the other day, and I think it's an incredible picture of Christ and the church and our place as believers as we wait for His return. :)



This is the song that was written based on those truths from Scripture.

DIY: a little home decor

I'm guessing most of you know that I live with some friends. And now that I've graduated from college, gotten my career started, and perused Pinterest for probably hours upon hours, I'm ready to have my own place and personalize and decorate it!!!

Last time I was visiting my parents, I ran across some wonderfully patterned retro sheets that my mom had. So I took them. :) I decided that they might come in handy some day for some Pinterest project. ;)

This is the gorgeous material I had from my mom! I kept an eye out for frames to put it in, and ran across these 12"x12" frames from JoAnn Fabric. The frames were originally 19.99 each. I got them on sale for 50% off, and I had a $5 off a $25 purchase and a 15% off deal since I'm a teacher. I scored the three frames for $21.75 total. :)

The frames looked a little bare on the shelf I have around two of my walls. :) So I arranged some of my books in front of them as decoration.

The first frame is graced by:

Real Marriage, by Mark Driscoll

some random book I was given

What Do I Know About My God, by Mardi Collier

and Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World, by Joanna Weaver.

... and a glass vase that I scored for $0.99 at Goodwill that contains my change. :)

The second display:

Love and Respect, by Emerson Eggerichs

House Rules, by Jodi Picoult (INCREDIBLE BOOK!!!)

and Crazy Love, by Francis Chan

 and a $0.99 vase from JoAnn on sale and some flowers that brighten any room!

 The last display:

my personal journal

Taste and See, by John Piper

Erasing Hell, by Francis Chan

and a $1.99 score from Goodwill that will someday be painted Oil Rubbed Bronze, but currently holds my rings. :)

I'm so excited about my new decor in a room that is becoming more my own... hopefully just in time to get my own apartment! :)

DIY: personalized wedding gift: key fob

About a month ago, I bought these key fobs on Pick Your Plum (which might I add, is FANTASTIC! Seriously... hop on over and check it out, then subscribe for their amazing daily deals) and had them sitting around waiting for an idea.

My dear friend, Sunil, got married last weekend to a darling, godly woman, Amanda. Since I know myself, and I've gotten a decent clue as to just how wonderful Amanda is, I picked out the seemingly PERFECT gift to add to their already crafted wedding gift.

...and her new last name is on the other side. I know if I was a newlywed, I would freak at this gift, and possibly even just carry my keys around the house. So, I made my own... "Miss" on one side, "Roberts" on the other. haha! I'm paranoid enough about losing my keys... hopefully this will help if I ever do!

The key fob is made of thick felt, and the stitching is brown embroidery floss, leftover from my mug hug. I'm really excited to give it to her soon!!! :)

DIY: knitting, mug hug!

I tried (and basically succeeded at) my second knitting project! I made a coffee sleeve (or mug hug) for my to-go cups in a bonus attempt to go green, err, yellow... or just knit something small and fun. :)

I found the basic tutorial here and the extra fun stuff here. And as I looked back to link back, I realized I didn't even follow the tutorial. Oops! So basically, I just took the idea. ;)

My mug hug doesn't have a fancy stitch. I tried a stockinette, and then I tried k2p2, but both failed. Maybe I should "perfect" the basics before I branch out. I'm not exactly a pro yet. ;)

The mustache is brown, and the yarn is a burnt yellow. I love it. :) And since sewing is on my list of "things to attempt," I tried just sewing the back together (since knitting a circle anything is a far fetch at this point). I realized that looking nice was also a far fetch, so I went for the "Urban Outfitters" (I'll make this intentionally sloppy so it almost looks vintage) look. :) So yes, I know it looks terrible. I meant for it to. :)

I'm excited to try some new stitches and a few new projects... or just make one that looks like the original pattern. ;)

Knitting can now be added to my list of "things I have tried!"

DIY: my first knitting project!

A dear friend wanted to learn how to knit, so I caved and bought some stuff so she wouldn't be alone in her mini adventure. Well, I completed a project!!!

I struggled some with keeping track of how many stitches I had done in each row, but I think it looks decent for my first project. I followed a tutorial I found here. As I typed up this blog, I realized that I skipped to her Part 3 lesson rather than starting at Part 1. That probably would've helped. haha

My current project is a coffee sleeve! :) It'll be adorable if I actually get it finished! :)

Outfit of the Day: the back of my closet

Dress: Francesca's

Jacket: Maurices (hiding in the back of my closet along with the dress)

Tights: Target

Belt: NY&Company

Boots: Shoe Carnival

Necklace: The Limited

Mary Kay pin: Mary Kay Inc.

Earrings: Kohl's

iPhone case: Agent18

P.S. I'm a beauty consultant with Mary Kay now! If you'd like to place an order, catch me at jessicaroberts@marykay.com 

MaD Monday: making the difference you've always wanted to.

First of all, I'm sorry that 1. this is getting posted late at night. 2. I totally bypassed last week. I took a day trip to Columbia, MO to spend the day with a friend... SO the blog got put on the back shelf.

Last week (or two weeks ago): I have a bag in the middle of my room that keeps obtaining more items and will be taken to Goodwill tomorrow! :)

This week: Some of you might just decide that this isn't worth your time because it's too much work. That's fine. But some of you readers might just want to live a little bigger. Be a little more daring. This is your chance.

I doubt I'm the only one who has ever seen a homeless person on the side of the road and thought "I wish there was a way I could help without handing them cash that they might spend on booze." If I'm the only one who's thought that, get a heart, people! ;) Anyway, I saw this idea on another blog (which I cannot remember...) and I thought it would be a perfect way to make a difference over the course of time.

Make a kit for a homeless person (or a few!!!)

Suggested items (for a gallon ziploc bag) include:

1. granola bars

2. travel deodorant

3. baby wipes

4. crackers

5. a tract

6. a walmart giftcard

7. bottled water

8. Bible

9. fruit strips

10. poncho

The possibilities are endless. Once you get things together to make a kit, you keep it in your car for that moment when the homeless person is staring you down at a light. Now instead of staring ahead and acting like you got a phone call, you can brighten their day or maybe even change their life. :) And say a prayer for them. Don't judge them. They are a sinner in need of the same grace as you are!!!

**easy option for this week: When you're going through the drive through, pay for the person behind you's meal. I did this just last week. I happened to have an extra note in my wallet that said "You are loved. God loved us and sent His Son." I asked the attendant at the window how much the order from the car behind me was. He gave me a funny look, then told me. I smiled and said "I'd like to pay for theirs too. And would you mind giving this to them? (and handed him the note)" He said sure, and took care of it. This gave me energy enough to be smiling the rest of the evening. :)

I really am interested to see how you have been making a difference! Give me a shout!

MaD Monday: excess

Last week: I'm a little on the slackery side... but my letter of admiration just went out in the mail today, so the person I sent it to doesn't even have it yet. :( But they'll get it soon!!!

This week: Bag up some clothes and donate them. I don't really care which clothes. And I don't care where you take them. I have a feeling those of you who read my blog do, indeed (as I do...) live a life of excess. Take some time to "cleanse" and donate. Even if it doesn't "better" someone else much, just the act of prayerfully realizing what you can live without will better yourself and give you a nice little lesson in humility and gratefulness. :)

Next week, I'll get a head start on mine so I can give you more specific instructions since it's a little more detailed. :)

Go make your difference!!!